a Hobbity Christmas!
by Devious-Kat-IE
Summary: Christmas in Rivendell! everyone gets in the spirit!well, almost everyone. join the confusion and hilarity as the Fellowship celebrates Christmas! merry christmas, everyone(a bit of slashy FrodoSam, skip it if you like)


A Hobbity Christmas!

KatChan

Hello! And Merry Christmas! Though I do not know if this will get out on Christmas day itself! Because it is currently 10:25, so this may not yet be finished by the stroke of Midnight! (is slightly confused) I have…this idea in my head, but it's like the wind blowing all your papers about while you try to keep them together. You know, they keep escaping from the rest, or you drop the ones you recovered……. even blabbing on the way I am now is letting some of those ideas get too far away! AH! I should write them down!.....yersh, I do believe that this may not make it to midnight. But I will try. Here goes:

AHHHH! LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION! WHERE WILL THEY BE?!?!?!??!

Think think think………….

…………..RIVENDELL!!!!!!!!

Rivendell, a normally quiet place, even at Christmas was….disturbed by a certain fellowship of 8(or 9…(smirks)). This fellowship was tearing up the place and basically causing chaos about the halls(deck 'em!).  
"heeey! Doesn't that song go something like 'deck the halls'?(told ya)"

"not precisely, Pippin. It's 'deck the HALL.'"

"well, that's dumb. I mean, look how many of them there are!" Pippin gestured to the immense halls leading in many directions. "it should be 'deck the HALLS'!" "well, Lord Elrond does NOT want them decorated. And it would be a waste of time. We would have to take them down after this blasted holiday anyways." "ah, Gandalf. Why do you have to be such a sourpuss?" "bah, humbug." "well , I'M goin' in search of the presents. I haven't seen any under the tree, so Elrond must've hidden them somewhere." Pippin smirked evilly before sneakily making his way down a hall. Merry rolled his eyes. "knowing Elrond, he's hidden them some place Pippin will never find…..luckily. but I better keep an eye on him, just the same." He jogged off in the direction Pippin went. Gandalf huffed. "now, Gandalf, there's no need to be that way. Where's your Christmas spirit?" Frodo asked. Gandalf glared at him and raised his staff warningly. Frodo cowered and whimpered, remembering his last encounter with the staff. "oi, Mr. Frodo!" Sam called. "would you come 'ere a minute?" Sam asked with a tinge of pink in his cheeks. "why certainly, Sam!" Frodo began to make his way over to Sam. Sam shuffled his feet a bit. "FRODO!" Aragorn called. "come help me track down the more mischievous of the your kind so that we can keep track of them, will you?" "sure, Aragorn." And so, Frodo retreated the way he came to follow Aragorn. Sam snapped his fingers in disappointment. "later." He muttered, as he wandered in a different direction. As he passed under a small arch, he looked disappointedly at the mistletoe attached to it. He shook his head.

"so in this holiday, all races participate in the exchanging of gifts?" Gimli asked. "well, mostly friends and family do. But it's not about the gifts." Legolas responded. "right. It's about the ale and food you get at the gathering, aye?" "uh, no. it's about-" "the tree?" "no. it's about-" "the decorating OF the tree?" "no." Legolas decided to give him one more try. "it's about sharing-" "embarrassing stories about the things we've done while drunk?" "like you challenging a boulder to a head-butting match?" "….yes." "no. it's about spending time with those you care about." "oh." There was a comfortable silence between them. "why would they make a holiday to do THAT?" Legolas sighed. It wasn't as easy as he thought to give the dwarf his first knowledge of Christmas and expect him to accept and celebrate the holiday. Suddenly, two hobbit-sized equivalents of bowling balls ran into them, knocking them over. "IT'SMINEIT'SMINEIT'SMINE!" one of them yelled as it continued racing down the hall. "DROP IT, PIP!" the other shouted, giving chase to the first. "now, what does THAT have to do with the holiday?" "absolutely nothing."

Aragorn and Frodo continued at a slower pace down a different hall. "it's quiet. TOO quiet." "don't tell me, Aragorn. You've 'always wanted to say that.'" "actually, no. I was going to ask you if you heard that fart." "oh." "Cause it wasn't me." "he who smelt it, delt it." "that's not how it works!" "yes, it is." As they made their way sown the hall, they spotted Sam standing under the arch leading to another hallway. "Mr. Frodo, Mr. Bilbo would like to have a word with you." "he would? Well, where is he?" "he's just down this hall, sir, if you'll follow me." He gestured to the hall behind him. Frodo began to walk towards Sam, but Aragorn stopped him. "no, he's not. He's with Lord Elrond. That is not the way to Lord Elrond's Hall." Aragorn eyed Sam suspiciously. Sam flushed under his scrutinizing gaze. "oh. Well, wrong hallway. Sorry 'bout that, Mr. Frodo." Frodo smiled at him. "that's quite alright, Sam." Sam smiled back. "come, Frodo. We must continue our search for those two rascals." They continued down the hall. Sam sighed and looked up again. "come on, Christams Spirit. Grant Sam his one wish…." This time, as he gazed at the ceiling, he saw…something odd. Boromir. Dressed as an angel. "Hark the Herald Angels sing, Sam!" he said with a grin. Sam looked absolutely terrified. "what's the matter, Sam?" suddenly, Sam was armed well with his trusty frying pan, and well….he knocked Boromir back to Kingdom Come. As he made his way down a different hallway he said "always wanted to do that." Before he began to whistle a merry tune.

Gandalf huffed again for the……1290th time that hour. He was bored. He was so bored, he was keeping track of the number of times he was huffing. He sat in a chair by the fireplace, which was also near the tree. The tree itself was big, and beautifully decorated. It was quite a sight to see. Though Gandalf did not care to see it. "bah! Humbug!" he grumbled. "who needs Christmas, anyways? A waste of time." All of the sudden, a pair of hobbits ran into the room, thoroughly exhausted and panting. "you….can't….have it…….mine….." "give…it to…..me, Pip….." Gandalf simply watch them. "and what the devil have YOU two been up to?" Pippin spoke up. "I found this present, fair and square, and Merry won't let me open it!" "you have to wait til Christmas MORNING, Pippin!" "who cares? It's close enough!" Pippin retorted. "Gandalf, what say you?" Gandalf pulled out his pipe and lit it. "don't care." Pippin grinned. Merry groaned. "oh no….." Pippin began furiously tearing at the wrapping paper on the gift. Merry shook his head, and Gandalf just puffed his pipe. Once Pippin had finished unwrapping the gift, he discovered it to be…."WHAT IS IT?!?!?!?" he cried astonishedly. Merry smirked as he saw what it was. "a fruitcake." "a….fruitcake? WHAT THE HECK IS A FRUITCAKE?!?!?" Gandalf blew a smoke ring before answering: "it is a hard and distasteful pastry, made of cake and fruit." "but it's cake! It should be GOOD then, right?" Pippin questioned. Gandalf looked grim. "no. it's tastes horridly awful, and relatives ALWAYS send you them. And there's no way to get rid of them. So you're STUCK with them year round." Pippin looked horrified. "so….I can't eat it?" "not unless you would like to miss some teeth, and have a bad taste in your mouth that will reside for weeks to come." Pippin looked at the cake in disgust. Merry looked thoughtfully at Gandalf. Is there some horrible story that involves fruitcake that you're not telling us, Gandalf?" Gandalf shuddered. Pippin smiled brightly and sat at his feet. "tell us a Christmas story! Tell us a Christmas story!" "very well." Merry joined Pippin. "it all begins many years ago….."

"so…..WHY do you hang plants from the ceiling in hopes that you may catch someone under it and kiss them?" "sigh…..I don't know. It's tradition." "oh. And this….'egg-nog'. Does it taste-" "YES! IT TASTES GOOD! JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!" "aye, then." A slightly uncomfortable silence followed. "shall we make our way back to the room with the tree, then?" "yes, I suppose."

"there. All ready, now." Sam had quite a nice set up. He was in an intersection of 4 hallways, with each hallway's ceiling COMPLETELY covered in mistletoe. "he's sure to go down one 'a these." Sure enough, here came Aragorn and Frodo, talking quietly to each other, coming down one hall. Sam had an idea. He stood in a dark area of the hallway they were now coming down. As they got closer, he grabbed Frodo suddenly and covered his mouth to make sure he didn't make any noise. "and then he died! Isn't that funny, Frodo?" Aragorn looked beside him to see his companion missing. "Frodo? Frodo?" seeing no sign of him, the Ranger continued on his way. When he was out of sight, Sam took his hand away from Frodo's mouth. "I'm sorry, sir, but it's just that I've been tryin' to get your attention all night, and-" it was then that he noticed his master's attention was not on him, but on the ceiling. "is…is this your doing, Sam?" he asked quietly. Sam blushed and nodded. "well, then. I guess I'll just have to honor tradition and your hard work." And…well, let's just say there were many cuddly, fluffy hobbity moments to follow.

it seemed that everyone had made it back to the Tree Room, as it shall be called(eventually, Frodo and Sam arrived. (wink)). But order was not restored.

"but Gandalf, that makes no sense-"

"hahahaha! Gandalf's scared of-"

"I KNEW I should not have TOLD you about-"

"ELF! Would ye mind telling me what devilry THIS is?!??!?!"

"it's a fruitcake, Gimli."

"….do you eat it?"

"welll……"

"will everyone PLEASE –"

"Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!"

"shut up!"

"now, you watch your tongue, Mr. Pippin!"

"we don't need to HEAR-"

"-was only wishin' everyone a 'merry christmas'-"

"FOOL OF A TOOK! you shall never speak to ANYONE about the story about-"

"don't get your robe in a bunch, GRANDPA!"

"that's IT!"

and so, at this point, Lord Elrond made his appearance. Disorder and chaos, he dispelled with a single shout of:

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

and then it was finally quiet. Too quiet. Heh. Always wanted to –

"that goes for YOU too!"

right.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all,

"SHUT UP!"

"well thank ye, Elf. For tellin' me about this holiday. Christams." "Christmas. And you're welcome, I suppose." "though I may never fully understand it." That's alright. I don't think anyone ever will."

THE END!

(sniff) I….don't believe I made it to midnight…..but I TRIED so HARD…….(indifferent) ah well. Hope you like it! Tried to make a little holiday cheer, since Lady Inspiration hit me with a rock! (rubs head) ow. Merry belated Christmas, everyone! And to all,

"SHUT UP!!!"

yersh.


End file.
